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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Teaching myself history

I feel so blessed to live in the United States.  But the culture is changing and everything that seemed solid is now liquid and upside down is right side up.  So...I have decided to read and teach myself about the founding of this country.  I am starting with the Declaration of Independence.  First, it is a separate document than the Constitution.

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

This is from www.ushistory.org.

So what does this paragraph tell me?  This wasn't a situation that happened quickly.  It was a course or a process.  There were events that occurred to drive people to want a change.  There was a political connection that was felt.  There was a desire to be separate and equal as a country.  The laws of nature do not obey geographic boundaries and neither does God.  It is respectful to tell the other country WHY you want to separate.

It seems even from this first paragraph that there is a sense of not feeling heard.  The tone in the letter (?) doesn't seem angry or frustrated.  It seems as if there was a desire to be pleasant.  (Maybe like when you break up with someone and you say, "let's still be friends").  When I walked through my divorce, I strove to be sure to separate the behavior that I didn't like from the person.  Through the power of prayer, we managed to part ways without hating each other.  Being vicious and negative wasn't going to change the situation.  Choosing to honor God even in a difficult place has lead to where co-parenting is easy (most of the time).

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Simple Sunday

Today in Job, I read:

"Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty."

It is really difficult to see the beauty in this verse when you are in the midst of a season of discipline.  However, when you are in a season of ease, it is easy to see that one SHOULD want to be corrected.  I say this to my boss all the time.  I want to be a better employee.  How much more should I want to be better child of God?  And, if I could figure out how to be better on my own, then I would be able to sell a LOT of books!.

Then, I look at my own children.  I teach them things so that they will be productive adults.  Occasionally, they need discipline.  Now, discipline means taking away their electronic pacifiers.  But this punishment leaves them space to contemplate why they are in trouble.  Don't I think that God wants me to spend time contemplating Him?  Wouldn't he remove any obstacle to me searching inside myself to see where I have drifted?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Learning to be humble

2012 was a difficult year for my marriage.  Thankfully, God has given me a loving special husband.  He was willing to fight my apathy and indifference.  We had found a Christian counselor who was working for each of us separately so that we could bring our best selves to the marriage.  One of the things that I determined was that I had never learned in 40+ years that it was ok to have a voice.  I never learned how to tell my husband when he had upset me or if I disagreed with him.  Part of this was because my parents had divorced when I was very young so I did not see two adults working things out in a reasonable manner.  The other part was an incorrect understanding of scripture that a man should be the head and his word was final.  I had to understand that God did not want me to live in a dictatorship.  What He wanted was for two people to work in harmony.  You can't live in harmony if you don't tell the other person what is in your head and heart.  You can't meet expectations if you don't know what they are.  Having a different opinion or vision is ok.

My hope is that 2013 I will grow stronger in know who I am and WHOSE I am.  I want to be a better wife, mother, employee...